我可能遇到瞭假的父母

摘要: 每個熊孩子的心中都住著一隻熊媽媽
Today, I had to explain to my mother that it is inappropriate ( adj. 不適當的;不相稱的) to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

我男朋友帶著父母一起來我們傢吃飯,結果我媽當著人傢爸媽的面把我男朋友給揍瞭,誰能告訴我這事兒該怎麼解決。 FML



Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML

今天去遊泳館遊泳,剛好我的男神(我哥哥的一個超帥的哥們兒)也在,末瞭準備開車回傢的時候,我一回頭剛好看到男神向我這邊遊瞭過來,於是樓主翻身就遊瞭過去(心想,真是老天的安排,心想事成啊),結果還沒等我出發,後面傳來瞭我老媽陰陽怪氣的聲音“我要是你的話現在死活不會過去的,也不看看你現在這傻樣兒。。。。”。,真是親媽。 FML



Today, I found out that my mom had read my diary because she was worried. She now knows details about my depression, details about my sex life, such as how I lost my virginity, to whom (I don't have a boyfriend), and what condition I was in at the time (drunk as a duck). She also showed my dad. FML

好想離傢出走,我媽媽偷看瞭我的日記(她說自己因為太擔心瞭),現在我所有的隱私都被她知道瞭,我患憂鬱癥的事情,喝醉酒之後被一個陌生人弄瞭失去童貞的事情,現在好想離開這裡。(她還告訴我爸瞭)FML



Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML

樓主是一個飛機的機長,今天進行起飛前檢查,結果在飛機下的地面上發現一堆不明液體,因為害怕是燃油泄漏,所以樓主趕緊用手沾瞭一下捻瞭捻,然後聞瞭一下,萬幸的是不是燃油,看起來不用擔心,不幸的是,特麼的我的副機長這個爛貨又隨地大小便瞭。 FML



Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

今天聽到我 7 歲大的女兒跟人說話的時候用瞭“垃圾”來罵人,所以我就跟她講,這個事不好的,因為用這個詞會顯得很粗魯,結果你猜怎麼著?這閨女居然一仰頭“這都算啥啊,你都沒聽見我在學校說的哪些”。。。 ,都別攔著我,看我不揍死她。 FML



Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

講講我的奇葩爸媽的事兒吧,我媽剛才劈頭蓋臉的把我罵瞭一頓“白眼狼”,因為我拒絕借錢給她付賬單(估計樓主勤工儉學),但是問題在於上一次他們跟我借瞭錢之後並不是去付賬單,而且去瞭買瞭一臺新的 MacBook 跟一輛新車,而我自己掙來的錢是準備用來供自己上大學的。,我是太自私瞭麼? FML

原文地址: http://www.shitmylife.cn/subject/info/33
已邀請:

崔始源微博

贊同來自:

什麼狗屁翻譯

life on top

贊同來自:

@terrytw 你遇到瞭假的翻譯,這個叫做意議,不要太認真

周冬雨

贊同來自:

@wenbindong1984 要是意思對瞭我就不說啥瞭
這不叫翻譯,這叫生編硬造...

糖小幽

贊同來自:

比如第二條吧,你看明明是男神朝她揮手,她也向男神揮手,然後她媽媽說“你要是能看到自己現在的樣子一定想死”,就是說她表現太花癡瞭
翻譯說男神遊過來,她也遊過去,然後媽媽陰陽怪氣的說“我要是你的話現在死活不會過去的,也不看看你現在這傻樣兒”,以上幾句話和原文的意思差瞭十萬八千裡,邏輯都不通順瞭

宋祖兒微博

贊同來自:

@terrytw 嗯

劉羽琦微博

贊同來自:

@terrytw 同時,還要感謝你幫我頂貼以及指出問題, thanks so much.

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